Five Things to Consider when Helping an Older Homeowner Move

These days, I’m receiving more and more calls from my followers and clients asking for help and guidance with their adult parents and friends who have come to the decision to sell their home. Downsizing can be difficult for anyone. It’s hard to know where to start. I think it starts with understanding why they’re moving. Then you can build the process from there. Different services may be needed depending on where they’re going as well. 

There’s more than two reasons why our older generation make this decision, but the main two are that they’re finding the upkeep a bit much or they’re frankly lonely and don’t want to live alone anymore-either without their significant other or the children, who are now grown. Regardless of the reason for moving, the experience is emotionally charged for everyone involved and there are definitely things to keep in mind and consider when you’re part of the troop helping with a move of this nature. 

Here are five things I’ve learned while assisting older homeowners with a move. This comes from my experience as a REALTOR(R) for the last 11 years AND as a former PSW-Nursing assistant, who was on the other side of the move for over 14 years prior to my real estate career. 

1. Put yourself in their shoes. Have empathy for the situation and involve mom and dad (or uncle, aunt, neighbour etc.) in all aspects of the process. The process of putting your home up for sale is daunting and stressful as it is. Throw into the mix someone who perhaps hasn’t sold a home in decades. The process has changed dramatically even since I was licensed 12 years ago! Also, they’re about to either move into basically an apartment with shared amenities, like a big dining room, living room, entertainment room, or recreation area, when they’re used to having space all their own. This is a hard one for some people. Some look forward to making new friends whom they can relate to, but it’s still kind of awkward for a lot of people. They may also be thinking about, or maybe even worrying about, what life will be like moving in with their adult children. 

Consider the point that often our parents or friends have accumulated a lot of things over the years. It’s not only physical and time consuming to sort through things, I very often hear from my clients that they feel sad that they’re packing up only some of their “stuff” to move into a room. They’re leaving their home they worked so hard for to live in a room either at a retirement community or their kids house. There is a huge emotional aspect to this reason for moving which is not lost on me whatsoever. 

I look at it this way: yes, your mom or dad or uncle or friend or neighbour worked their butt off to obtain and keep this property for years, but it’s not a loss. It was an investment. Because they’ve maintained it, and flat out kept it period, they’re able to now use those proceeds to live out their years somewhere very comfortable. Let’s face it as well, no matter how old you are, you only use one or two rooms in your whole entire house anyway, aside from the bathroom and the kitchen. I know I do! It’s the bedroom and the family room for us…that’s pretty much it, lol.The rest of the house is my investment-what I paid into all these years to be able to afford me a place to go when the time comes. Every single person in this situation should be very proud of this accomplishment. Because they loved the home so much, the next family is going to be able to make their own memories there now too. 

2. Schedule time to sit down with everyone involved to talk about how you’re all feeling about the upcoming move.

Everyone's family or friend dynamic is different but there needs to be open communication with everyone involved. I’ve seen it time and time again that someone doesn’t feel heard or feels out of the loop. It’s easy for emotions to run high when a group comes together that genuinely cares about the family member moving. We all want to be involved and make sure their best interests are being met. Emotions can often be more heightened when that person is mentally impaired. In this case, it’s imperative someone who can be trusted is legally assigned to speak on their behalf. 

3. Assign tasks to family members and friends involved.

Firstly, as mentioned above-who is speaking on behalf of the family member/friend/neighbour if they’re not able to? Get that figured out asap. If that’s taken care of or not needed because they’re able to make their own decisions, then you need to figure out the following: Who is sorting through items? When is this going to happen? Are you going to donate items or have an estate sale? Do you need to rent a truck or trailer to haul things out? Who is going to go with the family member on tours of the potential retirement communities? Is the room at your house ready for them? What do you need to do to prepare for them? The list goes on depending on your specific situation.

I would highly recommend NOT leaving out the homeowner if they’re able to be part of the decision making process. Also, the more the merrier! If you find yourself on your own sorting through a houseful of items, enlist the help of others. Trust me on this one. 

4. Speaking of sorting…

This is a whole subject on its own. Remember, you’re helping pack up a whole house to likely move into a room. If our loved one is no longer with us, you’re still deciding what to do with every single item in the house. Like I said above, get help. There is certainly a science to sorting, which I won’t get into here. There are a few really good services available in the Niagara Region that specifically assist in moving seniors. Seniors on the Move is a good one. You can also call an organizer company like Mind over Clutter. I know both owners personally and they’re both very good and helpful. I’d recommend either one. It’s worth every penny. 

5. Consider mobility issues

Consider arranging to move out prior to listing the home for sale. Don’t worry about it being empty, we can virtually stage the home as well. It’s pretty awesome actually. You’ll need to let your insurance company know the home is vacant, and arrange for someone to swing by daily to check it. I’ve done this for several clients myself as well as part of my services. 

We are all aware that sometimes it takes a bit to get going for anyone, just in the morning. Our older population often needs more flexibility to get out the door when needed. I usually ask for at least an hour's notice for showings, but even this may be challenging for the owner on a good day. Also, it’s common that a family member or friend comes over when there’s a showing scheduled to go with the owner somewhere while the house is being shown. It can really become a whole production. Never mind the owner being in a constant state of ‘I may have to leave anytime’ mindset. That isn’t fun for anyone. Throw medical staff visits or medication/treatment time in the mix and we’ve just caused more stress than is needed for the owner. Buyers feel very awkward about any seller being home during a showing. You would also be limiting the times the home can be shown. It’s best if no one is there if possible.

There are certainly more things to consider when you’re helping an older homeowner with a move-this is just a quick starting point list. I really think basically if it’s planned out properly and those who need to be involved are, there’s no reason the move can go smoothly. 

Please reach out if you’re considering a downsize. I’m more than happy to help guide the way.